Tommorrow is Vetern’s Day Happy Vetern’s day to all the Vets out there past , present and future. There are no words to express the gratitude I feel for each and every one of you who serve in our military and sacrifice all that you do. Thank You seems inadequate but it is all I have. Thank You.

I saw my shrink psychiatrist today we upped my anti depressants, common for me this time of year anyway but I did tell her that I have been really depressive.  My concentration is ok, but I have no motivation to do anything, excpet to sleep.  I am sleeping entirely too much only to find that I am awake all night because I have dozed off during the day. (ugh)  I did tell her that I realized this week that I keep people away on purpose.  I told her that I am so afraid to risk getting hurt emotionally that I find myself shutting down in regards to being around people.  She told me that she’d make a note of it in my file, to talk to my therapist about it at my next appointment ( Friday) and that maybe upping the anti depresants would help.   We talked about all of the various signs of depression and I told her that I have been on Web MD  reading about depression and I was surprised at how many things are symptoms of depression.

I knew that the loss of intrest and fatigue were both symptoms but I didn’t realize that the phsycial aches and pains were as well. Nor did I realize that not wanting to be around people was one either.  Dr M1 told me that when you’re depressed you often don’t want to see people, or do anything, nor do you feel phsyically well.  You can have bone crushing fatigue,  feel ill, ran down, headaches, stomaches all of that type of thing. 

Usually when I feel depressive I can pinpoint why I feel that way.  This time I can’t.  I honestly don’t know what is making me feel this way or why I feel this way, I just know that it hurts and I hate it.  Im hoping that the upped meds help Im sick of being overtired and antisocial.